Heyoooo

So, Hi again!

I am struggling. I know that I shouldn't be feeling sorry for myself, but I always feel better after I write on my blog, so here it goes. I don't know where to start. 

God wants us to trust Him, but at the same time, we have to put in some of the work as well. 

"God helps those who help themselves." 

I love that quote. It inspires and encourages me. 

At the same time, I regards to wanting a good, healthy relationship, how do I help myself?

First off, I should pray and work on my own insides, making my inner self beautiful. 

But in regards to actually doing something in the social sense, I am a little bit discouraged. 

Don't get me wrong. 

This past year, I've met sooo many new people and have had a lot of great memories- 

from working at a restaurant and also a retail store to being a camp counselor to going to youth group a lot more often, I've met a lot of people overall and had new experiences! 

But the reason I feel discouraged sometimes is that, whenever I start something new, go somewhere, or just do something social, in the back of my mind-and sometimes in the front of my mind- I wonder, hmmmm maybe I'll meet my future husband today!

Which I think is fine, but it's almost too much BECAUSE a part of me always becomes discouraged when I go somewhere and I don't meet a potential Mr. Wonderful. 

I have been trying to be more present lately, mostly because of this health and wellness class I took that was surprisingly helpful lol 

But yeah, I want to be present in the sense that I do not want to dwell and despair about my past mistakes but I also don't want to constantly be worrying about the future. 

There was a quote that I found on accident on Pinterest- best place ever- but it said "God is not going to forget to put the people in your life that are meant to be there". Wow. 

We all need to trust God more, especially me. 

And we can start by praying more deeply and just trusting Him more and more everyday. 

He has and always will be there for us. Just trust Him. 

C'mon. We got this. 

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Hi folks. 

Idk. 

I'm a little frustrated and discouraged. 

AND since I believe that writing out your thoughts can help you feel better, here goes nothing.

I know this is stupid to think, but sometimes I think that I will never find the right person to be with. 

I've watched a few really great Asian tv shows (call me crazy), but they've shown me what it looks like to truly love someone and in a pure, beautiful way. 

I have this fear that it's too late for me or that it just won't happen. 

I MEAN

Worst case scenario: I get an apartment by myself and get a couple of dogs. 

Actually the actual worst case scenario would be to forever stay in my parent's house lol 

But hopefully my worst case scenario will be the apartment dog thing. 
Then I can have my own space to watch Hallmark movies whenever I want and have dogs to keep me company. 

I meant, it doesn't sound that different from my situation right now. BUT hey 

At least I'll have my own apartment one day!! woot WOOT

Anyway 

hmmmmmmmmm

I don't want to feel sorry for myself, although I'm kinda in the mood lolol 

I know I should trust God, pray for my future husband, and better myself in the meantime, 
(which are all worthwhile things)

I don't know. 

It's just really hard. 

It is reallllllllylylyllyls hard to be single lately. 

And I KNOW I would rather be single than to date someone that is a bozo, 

but what about dating someone amazing?! 

Like the guy in my Asian tv show lolol 

But the thing is, that TV show (called "A Love So Beautiful") IS REALLY SO FREAKING BEAUTIFUL. 

The main characters grow up together and eventually fall in love. 

IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL. 


and HONESTLY

It doesn't seem to be that unattainable. 

I mean it's just two people that enjoy each other's company and truly love each other. 

Sounds nice. 

I KNOW I shouldn't complain. 
My life is pretty great. 

But, man oh man. 

IDK 

I just hope that one day, I will look back at this blog post, laugh to myself, and say, 

"Wow! I needed to just chillax! My special guy and I found each other real quick and what we have is WONDERFUL. HECK. IT'S EVEN BETTER THAN THE ASIAN TV SHOW "A LOVE SO BEAUTIFUL." 

LOL 

I am counting on that!!!!

And actually I feel better already. 

REMEMBER GOD ME YOU SPECIAL AND HE LOVES YOU VERY MUCH. <3
LOVE YOU!!!!

Well Hello There!

Hi my peeps! I never say peeps, but I am feeling it today lol 

ANYWAY. 

I was FaceTiming my friend Theodora today, and somehow I brought up my blog. 
I don't remember why, but I am glad that it happened!

It led me to read most of my past posts, and I just want to thank MYSELF for being so encouraging to MYSELF (and to others hopefully). 

Looking back, I was so encouraging. I was 16 years old, and possibly more confident than I am now! 

I think that looking at my old posts reminded me of who I want to be. 

I still want to be a strong Christian young woman that is proud to be my silly self, but lately I have been super lazy. 

I really need to pray more on a deeper level.

AND

I need to be SINCERE in my spiritual life. 

THE THING IS...

God doesn't expect perfection from us, but he wants us to try in life. SO TRY. 

C'mon Observant Girl! You got this! 


"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." :) <3 



ANYWAY 

There are so many new things are going on in my life that I feel I should tell you about. 

I am HOPEFULLY graduating from college in May 2019 woot WOOT. 

With a Business Tourism major! 

Sometimes I do regret not choosing music, art, or design, but at the same time, I can really picture myself working in the hospitality industry God-willing!! 

I still play piano here and there, but I really need to get back on that train (or whatever that phrase is). I haven't painted in a while BUT I am planning on buying some stuff from Michael's le tomorrow. 
lol 

I tried to throw a French spin on that, but it didn't work... or did it muahaha :D 

(I took a semester of French last year. Barely remember anything.) 

Oh! I am in Finance300 this semester and it is a REALLY HARD CLASS 


BUT

I WILL PASS IT IF IT IS THE LAST THING I DO. 


HOPEFULLY, it won't be the last thing I do God-forbid, but yeah. I am determined to pass. 



Hmm...
What else should I tell you about. :) 


WELLLLLL 

I will be 23 in a month, which SCARES ME... a bit. 

I've been struggling lately with trying to figure out how to act. 

You know. 

As an almost 23-year-old. 

BUT What I have to remember is that being silly is great! 

And that being silly is just a part of my personality. SO if you don't like that then you can just leave I guess lol 


This post is so scrambled...just like the eggs that I am craving at the moment. HA I am SO funny. 



I am stressed still and worry too much. But does that ever help? NO. So 


STOP WORRYING SISTA

ENJOY LIFE. 

LIFE IS SO SO GOOD. 

GOD IS GOOD. 

GOD IS LOVE. 

APPRECIATE THINGS MORE. APPRECIATE PEOPLE MORE. APPRECIATE GOD A LOT MORE. APPRECIATE YOURSELF MORE. ooh that's a good one. BUT SERIOUSLY. 


I HAVE BEEN WRITING IN CAPS SO MUCH BUT IT FEEL GOOD YAS. 

Oh

Also, 

I have been struggling with my image lately. I gained a few pounds and got some pimples LOL. 

But I have to realize and remember that I am a CHILD OF GOD. And,

I am beautiful, because I was made in the image of God. 

SO if you reading this, KEEP GOING 

NOBODY IS PERFECT. 

PERHAPS exercise and eat healthier too hahaha 



but honestly, 

just chill. You is doin fineee. 


You're doing great. :) 

BUT DON'T EVER FORGET ABOUT Jesus Christ WHO LOVES YOU AND DIED FOR YOU. 

I don't want to ever leave my Christian faith, but sometimes I am lazy and do not always feel Christ in my heart. But I will put more effort into my spiritual life and try to love Jesus with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. 

This might be the most scattered and longest post I've ever written. BUT 

I love this blog, and I am really proud of myself for writing so well in the past and keep the blog up in general. 

SO if anything, I just want to keep writing here, hopefully encouraging you to keep moving forward, and hopefully encouraging myself as well. 


Remember: God made you special and he loves you very much. :) <3 

This...

...is a wonderful lady that wrote a really interesting book. I read it last year and was reminded about it today. I got curious and looked her up! Turns out she has a blog too! I recommend reading the book first and then the blog. The book is called "Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl: On Her Journey from Neediness to Freedom". Such an encouraging, true story.


Link for Book: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/confessions-of-a-boy-crazy-girl-paula-hendricks/1114796629?ean=9780802407504 

Blog: http://paulawrites.com

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and He will make your path straight." Proverbs 3:5

Here's

...to getting back on track and becoming the best version of myself. 

Today I was struggling a lot- focusing on my outward appearance and comparing myself to others in a negative way. 

Then I read my last post about Beauty and the Beast, and surprisingly, I actually felt encouraged by my own post. 

How awesome is that?!

I'm still struggling with wanting to look a certain way, but at the same time, 

I'm so tired of wasting my time on that. 

I want to put more meaning into my life. 

I want to think about others more instead of myself. 

I want to do something with my life- something really meaningful. 

I want people to see Christ in me. 

I'm definitely not perfect, but it's okay as long as we get back up again after we fall. 

I heard this phrase a while ago: "Fight. Fall. Repent." 

I think the point of the phrase is that we need to fight- to push ourselves- to fight against our sinful nature. 

We sometimes fall. That's normal. 

Then, the important part: We repent. I read about repentance and the author described repentance as "turning around"- that is, turning around from our mistakes. 

So,

don't fret. 

When we fall, let's make sure to get up again and start fighting again. 

Keep going. We'll get better- you and me- day by day. 

As long as we really put effort in, God sees our effort and encourages us. 

We're eagles-in-training, people!

Let's get going!

Onward! Seize the day. 

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 <3

I Don't Know...

...what my problem is, but I have been so preoccupied with my outward appearance lately. I have been putting so much focus on outward beauty and measuring my happiness on whether or not I look skinny "today". I've been critical of myself and in result have also become critical others. 

But today is the day to change. 

When I watched Beauty and the Beast in theaters, I loved it so much, but I felt more like the Beast than Beauty. 

The good thing is is that there is always HOPE. 

Even though I've been so pathetic lately, I am very ready to change and become a better person. 

Day by day I can become better and work on myself. 

I can be kinder to myself and especially to others. 

We're all human. 

We've all made mistakes. 

We've all looked like hobos at many points in our lives. 

I have to keep reminding myself that it's our inside that counts- our heart, that is. 

Going back to the movie Beauty and the Beast, remember that the whole point of the movie was that Beauty fell in love with the Beast's heart AND even though Belle was beautiful, it was her golden heart that mattered. 

I read a quote by Emma Watson the other day that I loved. 

"I keep telling myself that I'm a human being who's not made to look like a doll, and that who I am as a person is more important than whether at that moment I have a nice figure."

That says it all. 

So- I'm in the mood to be motivational. 

Let's all start focusing on our inward appearances. 

Don't get me wrong. Wanting to look pretty and all is good and even important, but I'm done comparing myself to others and being critical of everyone. 

Let's all turn into the Beast after his heart changed. 

When he became humble.

When he became kind. 

When his insides finally showed on the outside, and he became the prince that he was inside. 

So cheesy, but true. 

Get to it! 

Let's become the kind-hearted, compassionate people that God intended for us to be...

...and seize the day. 

He...

...was wounded for our transgressions. 

He was crushed for our iniquities. 

The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, 

and by His wounds we are healed. 


Isaiah 53:5

Happy Easter!

CHRIST IS RISEN <3