I just read my last post and a lot has changed since then-
I started the Marriott internship program beginning of February and, even though there were some struggles and definitely getting out of my comfort zone, I had a great experience.
I felt as though I got there on my own and I felt so proud of myself (in a healthy way) that I did it with my own effort- but of course, with the help of many people.
I met a bunch of new people- co-workers and guests alike- and I was beginning to actually feel like an adult, a leader. It felt good that people relied on me and asked me for help when they needed help.
I tried my best honestly and I don't think I would've done anything much different at all.
I did get furloughed end of March because of Covid, but most people were.
In March, I spent time helping my family move from our beloved home to a rental house in hopes of finding a new home that was a bit smaller.
It was so sad leaving that house, but the house that we eventually found is really nice and has a beautiful lake view. Maza loves to hang out there and watches the ducks in confusion often (my dog hasn't seen that many ducks in her lifetime).
Anywho- starting in March, I was living in the rental house for a few months which honestly feels like a blur/fever dream lol
There was a 5pm curfew and the only thing Sasha and I did was go for our daily Starbucks run, which was the best part of the day-
I also exercised almost every day but I also ate like a whole box of napolitanke in one day at the same time lol but I have to give myself some grace, because it's been a rough year.
Anyways- flash forward to the middle of May I think? Where my boss asked me to come back to work but for overnight shifts.
I said yes of course, but I wasn't excited about overnights.
Overall, I'm glad that I tried it, but I only did it for a few weeks- it wasn't for me.
I honestly didn't feel that safe, plus I never knew when to eat or sleep- it wasn't a good look.
SO I took a leave of absence for the moment.
And I started working at my dad's office- front desk.
There were a lot of similarities because both jobs boiled down to customer service.
Sometimes I hate customers service, but sometimes I really like it- no job is perfect.
I felt like I liked my dad's office better actually than the hotel job, because at the office, I "had" to develop relationships with the patients compared to with guests in which you usually don't see them ever again.
I liked being able to establish relationships with the patients, and I also liked the feeling of being able to help people, even if it's in an indirect way. Being the middle man can be a very important job.
Anways, while being at the front desk is nice, I didn't want to be at the front desk the rest of my life- I wanted to do something more with my life.
Sooo my dad and I talked and we both decided that I should train to become assistant manager for the office- I'm still in the process of becoming the assistant manager, but the point is that it is going to happen, and I am excited (a little scared), but excited nevertheless.
ALSO, I felt as though most of my friends had gotten or are in the process of getting their masters' degrees. Now I do not think that that is a good enough reason to also so a masters degree, but I think having friends that are striving in their lives can be inspiring- plus I did want more of an education, because I felt like I didn't learn as much as I wanted to in undergrad due to the classes I had.
A big reason why I wanted to do a master's program was that I wanted to have a goal- I felt like after I finished school and after my hotel internship fell through, I didn't have much of a goal in life, so I felt like I was floating a little bit.
SOOO I got in to the program called "Masters in Applied Leadership & Management" through the Thunderbird School of Global Leadership.
I really like seeing things in a global perspective and that is exactly what this program is going to show me, which is really exciting.
Hmmmm what else has happened.
Oh yeah lol.
I got an emergency surgery to remove my appendix-
It went well thank God- I was in the hospital for 5 days and had a tube in my stomach and a tube up my nose, I can remember the feeling of the tube that was up my nose and down my throat really well lol
ANYWAY- every time I had to get up when I felt weak, I said under my breath-
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
And I got up.
Every time.
I also had some problems with insurance which was very stressful BUT-
the point is that God was there with me and helped me get through somehow.
He is always there for me.
Having these scares this past year has been hard but has also taught me that I need God in my life in order to live- I need JESUS- and He is there for me even when I mess up.
Lord help me to always be close to you and to be guided by you. Help me to always trust you and to pick the right decisions and do the right thing even when it's uncomfortable or unpleasant, and help me to do those things with a positive attitude and to do it for Christ sincerely in my heart.
One of the best parts of this year actually is being in Montenegro visiting my family.
I've had to go extremely out of my comfort zone, but by doing so, I opened up a window to a new world.
While I don't think that everything in this "new world" is good, I think that there are some good things, and I'm glad that I pushed myself.
Reminder: Be kind to yourself. Even if not everyone likes you (even if it's for no reason at all), don't worry about it. You have so many people that love you already, the most important is GOD. Keep going and don't sweat it. There is no good in trying to be the person that you think people will like- it's better and more enjoyable if you're just yourself and the people that truly love you will always be there for you.
This year especially, I have felt confusion as to how to live my life-
I don't really know what to think honestly-
There has been talk that it heading towards the end of the world (which gives me much stress)-
If it's the end of the world, then why should I bother striving in my life?
Is it then wrong for me to want to live my life anyways and live my life to the fullest?
I'm pretty young still so I have so many dreams and aspirations that I want to happen.
But is that wrong of me to think that way?
I should focus on spiritual life more and focus on Christ and focus on my soul, because Heaven is where true life is.
But I don't think it's wrong to want to have hope for things on earth, such as getting married to a wonderful, Orthodox Christian young man- or even traveling to new places and trying new things.
But I also feel like it's wrong to "be ignorant" about what is happening in the world now.
Lord give me clarity and guidance as to what to do and give me the strength and the courage to do it.
I don't know what's going to happen this coming year, but as long as I try my best to be the best Orthodox Christian I can be and trust in God, then I think it'll be okay- with God's help.
I know this post is super long and random, but that's kinda how this year has been lol Not everything is bad though, some things are good :)
Lord give us strength, courage and faith. Strengthen our faith in YOU and strengthen our confidence in ourselves to accomplish what you need from us for OUR salvation. AMEN.
Until next time, <3 :)
